Making a leap

February 29th only comes around once every four years. It feels a little like an extra, free day to do with what you will. I love the idea of a leap. A leap of faith. A sense of energetically moving forwards. My twins leap. A lot! And sing. And dance around. It feels fun, in other words. I saw one of my favourite authors Patti Digh was offering a short course on making your own personal leap, and couldn't help jumping in (pun intended!). It ran alongside the great work I have been doing with Shawn Fink at the Abundant Mama project on how I stay centred as a mama. For me, that's having my own time and space as well as honouring the gift of my family and the energy of my twin boys. 

And - I feel ready for a leap. Ready for some good positive change. I feel I am transitioning from the space I have been in for the last 3 years as a stay at home mama. My boys have just started preschool and we are all getting used to them going out and learning, growing and making friends. It's both exciting and a little scary, I can see now why people say childhood goes so fast! 

I can always tell I am ready for a shift once I start investigating courses again! I love self development, ever since I went on an early Fiona Harrold course and then signed up to be a life coach. So. My leap. It's been linking really well into my word of the year Believe. It turns out, I find it very hard to believe in myself. I know others do. And I sort of do...sometimes! But I have that kernel of fear that I'm missing something and could do better. 

And in this leap course I've been talking about whether I want to move my art to being a business, as well as something I do for fun. And all the fear that brings with it. Am I good enough? Will it work? What if it doesn't? And Patti asked me something that made me stop. And think. And breathe. And say....ahhhhhhhhh.

"If you think of it as making a commitment to yourself, and not to a business, how does that feel?"

It feels...well, pretty amazing. It feels like it puts belief right at the heart of how I work. And by that I mean often it's felt like I put so much emphasis on what others think and are doing, rather than listening to my heart, trusting what I want to do and accepting those whispers that say, yes, it's time. Go do this.

And yesterday I took my leap. I went down to the beach, and drew a labyrinth. I asked for power and strength in making my leap. I gathered up stones to represent all the heaviness I wanted to let go of. And on the way into that labyrinth I asked for clarity about what fears I had and what I wanted to release. And in the centre I stopped and breathed and said thank you. 

On the way out, I picked up each stone I had written a fear on or something I wanted to release, and asked the universe, what do I need right now? What is the opposite of this fear and heaviness? And I realised it was all about making the leap. The leap overall to have that commitment to myself, to showing up in the arena, and to putting belief in the centre. And then I threw all that heaviness out to sea. (Or, more accurately as the tide was out and it was all mudflats, as far as my arms could throw them.

And I feel lighter and more joyful. I've already taken a few steps today that I have been thinking about for ages, but been putting off because I didn't feel ready. Well, now I want to show the universe I am wholeheartedly in to play. To commit. To give things a try where I would have let fear win. 

I feel excited, I hope you join me on my journey.