Creating a dreamscape

I've been working on a series of pieces ready for showing them locally in the Oasis Café in Leigh on Sea. I'd best describe my style of working as both abstract and intuitive - I rarely pre-plan pieces of work but focus on the colours I am using and see what emerges in the moment of painting.

 

Instead of preparing via sketchbooks, my preparation is moving into the right mind-set to paint. Often this is re-focusing from my role as mama to my role as artist. Learning to create rituals and events that help me transition more smoothly so the paint flows and inspiration finds room to come forth and show me what needs painting. I've found meditation early in the day, before I paint, so helpful for this transition time.

Meditating before painting allows me to stop and slow down. It is a sign that I am taking time for myself, stepping aside from other responsibilities and slowing right, right down and focusing on the breath. Focusing on possibility. Instead of hearing what I should be doing, hearing the words and letting go. I like the idea that this can help bring me the space in my head to come to a piece of work afresh, even if I've had a big break from painting.

 

This piece of work has been unfolding from an initial range of colours - greens, teal, yellow, silver and reds. The colours dance together. Photographing the work in progress helps me see how they fit together. It helps me assess what is working and what my need tweaking or changing. Sometimes changes are small, sometimes I feel a big swathe needs reworking. This is the joy of working from the heart and the soul. It feels what is working. I am working on learning to trust what is working, where the painting is, what it needs and when it is done. I am learning to find my own style. To say yes, this feels like my work and that feels good.

 

To be comfortable in sharing how I get there, the good and the bad, or rather the messy and the not quite feeling right. It's a stage, just as some of the uncomfortable things we go through in parenting, in life, in growing into our skins as a mama, is a stage. It can be uncomfortable in the moment. I can be hard on myself. I need breaks. Yet when I approach it with joy, and myself with grace, I find new possibilities coming through in the painting. Until it whispers - this is what I need. This is what you need. This is the message that needs to come through right now. This. Yes this. Trust this.

 

Until next time friends.

What inspired me in April

Wow, already all the way through April and into May! April felt like it was mainly about Easter and pre-school being on holiday. With two active 4 year olds it can be challenging in to get in time for me and my projects. I've started to realise that this will be something I need to work with and flex around more, especially as the long holiday will be coming up soon. This mama is definitely one that still needs to do things to soothe and fill her own soul up, so that she can be the best mama that she can be. Emily over at Makelight has a good blog on her take on being a working mama over the holidays.

I purposely took a bit of a step back in April. Partly because of the holidays, and partly because I've been thinking about what art I create and what I want to get out there. I went to a fabulous mentoring session with Helen Hallows, that I thought was mainly some practical elements to my work and ended up being so much more! It's made me think much wider about what I am putting out in the world. In case you don't know, I've done lots of different things but one of the things I've done in the past is coaching, and it's something I'm thinking fits so well with the direction I feel my artwork moving into. And it feels good, and right to think about how I bring them together. Sometime working with someone else can bring to light something that you just can't see for yourself. Others tend to see your light and talent without the miasma of doubt that we put on it ourselves!

The themes that bring them together are creating messages that are uplifting, encouraging and inspiring. Words that bring a light into the eye. A hug for the soul. A pause and a break. I've come to this after much of the political shifts that we have had over the last couple of years, and how it feels that there can be so much anxiety, and negativity and "fake" in the world. I want to live in a world that is authentic and true. I want to bring my children up that one of the biggest things that's important to them is kindness and believing they can.

I've been so not good at believing I can. It's probably my biggest challenge I constantly fall down on. I'm hoping part of this message out into the world whether it is art, or coaching, is about me moving past this, and maybe bringing some tips and tools and resources for others who find this hard too. Let's be stronger together.

This month the two main tools I have been using are meditation and visioning.
Meditation and mindfulness is something I've dipped in and out of in the past. This month I've been inspired by the idea that calming my mind can help keep me focused and out of the doubt mindset I can fall into so easily. Recognising this and  breathing past it, and out of it, has been very inspiring for me this month. I believe it's helped me to move fasster out of "I can't do this, I'm not good enough" mode and back into a place of seeing how things go. I've been enjoying meditations from Danny Penman's site Frantic World. The great thing is that some of these are very short, so fit in well with my lifestyle.

Visioning and vision boarding is something I am very interested in, and I've been doing some work on what's important to me. This month I've been reading The Vision Board by Joyce Schwarz, and I also went to a workshop with Lifeclubs all about moving ourselves forwards by visioning and the shape we see our lives now and the shape we want it to be. The good stuff of course, is in finding a way to move from one to the other.

Until next time, friends.